4 Ways To Stop Being A Throwing Bag

4 ways to stop being a throwing bag

Have you ever found yourself doing something you didn’t want to do, but did you just do it to please someone else?

Some people are overly accommodating because they don’t want anyone to get mad at them. This is a rather negative pattern of behavior. If you don’t keep your reservation, at some point you may start to feel lost.

When being a throwing bag becomes a problem

  • When you start accepting things you don’t want to accept, but do so to keep everyone else happy and choose an “easier” life.
  • When you feel uncomfortable in situations you are entangled in, it makes you feel like you are violating your own principles.
  • When you feel tired of always putting everyone else’s needs ahead of yours, and you don’t want you to feel like you’re doing anything else for yourself anymore.
  • When you make  excuses because you feel bad to say no.
girl and flowers not a throwing bag

How to stop being a throwing bag

1. Accept that not everyone will always like you.

We apologize if your illusion  breaks now, but there  will always be people in life who don’t feel any special affection for you. This is not a good or bad thing, it is just a fact of life.

When you feel tempted to behave completely as expected so that others will accept you, stop at that place. Take a deep breath and focus on something else.

People who try to please just about everyone all the time tend to have low self-esteem. That is why they so fervently want other people to give them recognition.

The best way to stop pleasing others is to learn to love the person you are and to work your self-esteem in a better direction.

2. Learn to say “no” when you don’t make up your mind to do something

This simple word causes a lot of problems when we avoid saying it out loud.

Are you one of those people who wouldn’t respond in a negative tone? Do you feel tired and angry because you have less and less time for yourself? Learn to say no!

Don’t worry, for no one will die and the world will not end there if you stop saying yes to everything. The biggest thing that could follow from this is that people who have used you for their own purposes will leave your life. Think about this a bit. It’s not as bad a thing at all as it might seem in the first place.

You should also forget about making excuses completely. It is best to just be honest and answer sincerely “no”. If another person is trying to get you to change your mind, calmly explain to him why you answered his question in the negative.

3. Identify the reasons that make you feel guilty

When you refuse to be in the role of a throwing bag, the first few times you will feel guilty.

Instead of changing your answer, think about what made you feel this way. Maybe you feel like you’re selfish or that you’re betraying another person’s trust and expectations. Then think about all the reasons why you no longer want to be a throwing bag, and compare these to each other.

girl with a stone

For example, imagine a situation where your sister has asked you to look after her children because she wants to go to the movies with her husband. However, you had already had time to agree with your friend to go out that night. Would it really be such a bad thing to refuse your sister’s request? Changing your plans would be worth it if your sister had to go to the hospital for an emergency, for example, but perhaps not just because she wants to go on a dating night.

You just have to  evaluate the situations and stop feeling guilty for being yourself. If you feel insecure, you may want to make a list of the pros and cons of your decision.

4. Leave the door open for those people who want to leave

When you finally stop acting so submissively, you will find that the number of your friends will decrease. Don’t worry about this, as it will just show you the difference between real friends  and people who are interested in benefiting from you in one way or another.

You will see that  as your self-esteem develops, negative and toxic people will leave your own life. The good news is that the right people will step into your life and take their place.

In a situation where a family member wants to benefit from you, all you have to do is set clear boundaries. It doesn’t matter if that person is your mother, son or brother, you have to learn to appreciate your own decisions. It will be difficult, but you can avoid the feelings of being used and at the same time develop an absolutely incredible  inner peace.

Remember that the purpose of this process is to become less submissive. You need to learn certain behaviors and let go of some other behaviors. Don’t worry, it’s not impossible, and it won’t make you a bad person. The best thing is to just be yourself.

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