Emotional intelligence. It is undoubtedly one dimension of our lives that we should develop and manage properly. The ability to listen, understand the feelings of others and control our own, as well as the ability to communicate and promote mutual respect are key issues.
It is a type of intelligence that should be included in school curricula so that children can develop these basic skills from an early age. It is a way of self-knowledge, self-control and expression. Ability to set boundaries and communicate boundaries in order to prevent possible manipulation.
As you know, the person with the highest IQ is not the smartest, nor is the person who has a better job or who works to get more “matter”. True intelligence is one that is associated with true happiness. It makes us proud of ourselves and what we have, be it a lot or a little. So why not introduce these simple exercises so that we can improve our emotional intelligence?
1. Get to know yourself
Getting to know yourself is an adventure that will last a lifetime. However, we get closer to this goal by setting goals for ourselves on a daily basis and asking questions. This is a self-examination exercise that we should do every morning. Ask yourself what you want to do today, and for tomorrow.
When the evening comes, analyze what you felt during the day. Have you acted the way you wanted? Have you expressed or defended yourself according to your own values? Write these items in a journal or notepad. This is a very simple but enlightening exercise. Ask yourself questions, ask yourself.
2. Mental regulation
Think of your feelings in balance. It’s not worth the effort to go to extremes or let things end in drama, because in the long run we’ll always lose. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated or resort to anger or rage reactions. It is ideal to find a happy middle ground. Never let your emotions reach their limits.
When you find yourself “falling” or “exploding,” think of a small, quiet, and airy room. It is a palace of your thoughts. Before you act, think, reason, and analyze the situation. Only when you have made that self-regulation can you make a decision. Think of yourself first in that private room that will calm you down before you act.
No one else has more control over your life than you, never forget it. So don’t let yourself find yourself in unfamiliar places where you will lose your serenity or identity. Work with your inner balance.
Empathy is a concept we all know and value. Still, we don’t practice it as much as we should. It’s easier to be with people who transfer more positive feelings to us. We identify ourselves much better with them, and understanding and intimacy are much stronger.
What if one day we try to empathize with the position of someone who makes us feel uncomfortable? Think, for example, of a supervisor who values you very little or a classmate who always talks badly about others and looks for difficulties. Try to “put yourself in their shoes” and maybe you will find what lies behind them: insecurity, low self-esteem… Try it, it might be a good learning experience.
Maybe you don’t feel that way today or you’re not in that mood. From now on, however, we do a simple exercise: let’s look at the positives and put the negatives aside. Get up every day thinking of something that will get you excited and that you want to achieve.
Life without hope is not life. Look for your daily motivation.
Sometimes anything irrelevant is helpful to us: ending the day at a cafe you’ve never been to before, calling someone you haven’t seen in a while, buying a new dress, planning a weekend getaway, signing up for yoga, or painting. Smiling a little more…
5. Social skills
Trying to communicate a little better. And not just with words but also with gestures. Get closer to the people around you, try to make them smile, offer a touch, a pat on the back or a hug. You will find that the reactions of the people around you will be different.
Find and offer positive emotions. Try to listen a little better to the person in front of you, going deeper through his gaze. You may find much more than just simple words. Take it into practice, develop your emotional intelligence, and be happier by making others happy as well.