Some people think that “disputes are the end of a conversation,” just like Emil Ludwig. However, others believe that disputes can also be a positive and avoidable thing. Could this be true? Trying to find answers.
Professor Javier Escriva Ivars is the Director of the Bachelor’s Degree in Marriage and Family at the University of Navarre (Spain) and a Professor at the University of Valencia. He believes disputes are good, but fighting is destructive. In other words, disputes should not go beyond certain rules, especially if we do not want the exchange of views to become destructive. To succeed in this, we can take advantage of certain sentences.
Matters to settle the dispute
Next, we share a few expressions that can end a dispute before it turns into a fight. However, these are not magic words. So, as Professor Excriva Ivars points out, when a dispute arises, it is important to remember humility and generosity. Never forget empathy.
These are essential tools if you really want to improve your life, your relationships, and your disputes. At worst, even ordinary conversation can become devastating.
“You’re right (in what you say)…”
This is a sentence that shows that you know how to identify points where you and another person agree. In a dispute, at a time of conflict, we do not then encourage distance between us and the other person, but encourage intimacy and understanding.
In any case, use this phrase only when you really agree with something. Otherwise, it simply will not work. Make sure you really agree with what you have raised. Also humbly accept your mistakes to make a real understanding possible.
“I feel (like this) when you say…”
Most of the disputes in our lives are with our loved ones. This is because they are simply so important that moments of misunderstanding cause a particular amount of discomfort between us. So why not just say it straight?
In a dispute, it is important to share feelings. If another person’s words hurt you, you need to point it out so that the conversation can be more positive. That way, things can’t get out of hand either.
This sentence in the middle of a dispute means that we take responsibility and become aware of our own feelings. Be careful not to blame the other. You can express your feelings of discomfort without pointing anyone at your finger.
“I’m sorry if I insulted you. Tell me what you feel so I can understand you better… ”
This is another sentence that can turn the dispute on its head. Maybe another’s words may seem absurd to you. But if you start making fun of it, you’ll end up just causing more annoyance.
On the other hand, if you try to empathize and rationalize another person’s emotions, you may notice where the emotions are coming from. This will allow you to better analyze the situation and really understand what is happening, where the problem is coming from and how to find common solutions.
“Why don’t we try to support each other?”
Another useful expression recommended by Professor Escriva Ivars. Sometimes it’s best to prioritize things that have common differences. This is how the listener sees you as an honest person who is really trying to reach an agreement and not start a fight.
This is how you show that you have positivity and don’t want to dig deeper into the things that separate you. In fact, this expression is very useful in translating the verbal word block into consensus.
“I have made mistakes and I am aware of them”
There is no such thing as a perfect man. As imperfect beings, we all make mistakes. The dispute is undoubtedly a perfect situation to recognize them as well. Especially if you are yourself partly to blame for the situation.
It is best to be honest and humble. There is no doubt that another person would be grateful. Nevertheless, errors are not easy to identify, especially in the midst of a dispute. However, it is worth it.
Are you and your loved ones constantly arguing? Don’t like arguing or do you think you could make the experience a lot more enjoyable? Dare to put these sentences into practice. But do it honestly and from your heart. Over time and practice, disputes will also ease.