As Long As Fear Controls You, You’re Never Happy

As long as fear controls you, you will never be happy

We spend a lot of time fantasizing about being happier. Rarely, however, do we make changes to achieve true happiness. There is a strong reason for this: fear. What would happen if what we do didn’t help us become happier, or worse, if it ruined what we have now?

Fear of disappointment, change, or loss, despite its small size, serves as a barrier that keeps us away from the possibility of happiness. It creates a great sense of frustration that makes our current situation look even worse. Ironically, isn’t it?

Overcome the fear that holds you back

Many develop routines, and while they make them feel miserable, they give them enough security to think that while their lives are not entirely satisfactory, at least it is under control. In this way, they disguise panic as laziness or comfort. And they complain about their lives as if other people had influence over it. But this is not true. You are not in control of anything this way.

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This imaginary sense of security makes us fear what we need to do, what we know within us. What we really need to feel better and become happier. But the fear of not achieving it, the feeling that it is not what we imagined, or the fear that happiness is just an illusion… All this is holding us back.

This fear drives us to inaction, which makes us adapt to mere thinking. To think about what we could do and what we could achieve. But thinking without action only makes us more unhappy.

Steps to overcome fear

In order to have a better life, it is necessary to overcome the fear that holds you back. You need to dismiss frustration and show more confidence in yourself. You have the potential to be happier, but you need to overcome the limitations you have set for yourself. How? Read on:

1. Define what happiness means to you

We are constantly receiving messages about what happiness is and how we can achieve it. These messages are often contradictory. In many cases, their idea comes from consumption, marketing, or different perspectives on life.

But, what is happiness really? This is something that each of us must define based on our self-knowledge and values. In reality, the fear of happiness often has its roots in the fear of stepping out of the fashion of society that has been created for us.

If you feel trapped, think about whether the happiness you’re looking for is really what you want. Otherwise, it may simply be what you think you want. If you set clear goals for your happiness, you will find that it is easier to identify with the steps you need to take to achieve it.

2. Convince yourself that you deserve to be happy

You did not come into this world to suffer. You deserve to be happy. But saying it is one thing, and believing it is something completely different. Maybe your childhood experiences or past relationships have made you think that happiness is hard, or you don’t deserve it.


Lack of self-esteem can be rooted in traumatic or negative experiences that become an obstacle when we try to achieve our dreams. But the past is the past. There are always a lot of opportunities ahead of you. The fear that something similar will happen should not paralyze you. It should instead give you strength. After all, the fact that you had a hard time in the past will help you enjoy and taste the details even more.

3. Make your happiness the number one thing in your life

We are often willing to put the needs of everyone else ahead of our own, ignoring our own happiness. In order for you to have enough energy to take care of others, you need to make your own happiness number one.

Therefore, you need to find ways to achieve a greater balance so that you can focus on your own goals. We should also form healthy boundaries in relation to the people around us. If someone is criticizing you or trying to make you feel bad when you think of yourself, don’t worry or feel guilty.

4. Prepare and plan your path

The fear of getting stuck in the middle of a trip is normal and natural, especially when you’re wandering aimlessly or unknowingly. To make you feel more confident on your journey, you need to plan and analyze your path. This way, you put a point to some of your uncertainty while reinforcing your goal.

Think carefully about what obstacles you face or may face, how you will overcome them, and how you plan to manage future problems. Also, don’t forget that change always requires sacrifices. Think about the benefits you get when you give up certain things and habits, and think about how you are going to deal with the difficulties that come with them.

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5. Believe in yourself

When we consider change, we may often be paralyzed by the thought of not being able to do what is necessary. The idea that we will not be able to succeed comes from our inner critic, and it always returns to the same starting point.

But it is OK. This is normal. When it comes to making important decisions in life, we have all experienced fear and uncertainty. Now is the time to respond with confidence. You are determined to achieve something, you have already come a long way in the right direction. Remember, you have to give up something to get ahead. Letting go of your fears is part of your plan.

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