Benefits Of Non-violent Interaction

Benefits of non-violent interaction

Effective communication is not always easy. There always seems to be more assumptions and misunderstandings than clear messages and precise interpretations. Therefore, a psychologist  Marshall Rosenberg created empathic communication,  which is known as nonviolent communication (Nonviolent Communication, NVC).

Rosenberg created this tool to give us the skills we need  to communicate with each other in a collaborative way and in harmony with our own values. In addition, to avoid potential contradictions and misunderstandings, it allows us to resolve emotional and rational contradictions. Through non-violent interaction, we can leave behind traditional forms of communication. Empathic communication helps us engage in active listening based on consensus.

Confident personalities

Self-confidence is the happy middle ground between passivity and aggression. It is a skill that allows us to express personal opinions, respect others and set boundaries. Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg encourages us to put self-confidence into practice to improve our relationships.

One of the most common traits of confident people is the attitude they have towards other people’s faults. They do not criticize or neglect them, or feel indifferent to them. On the contrary, they embrace them and try to understand them. Self-confidence is thus an important part of non-violent interaction.

friends are chatting

Effects of nonviolent interaction

Empathy, the ability to put ourselves in the shoes of others, is also part of this communication. It is also important to manage verbal and nonverbal communication, both within ourselves and in others.

Empathic communication seeks to establish a sincere and authentic relationship between the speaker and the listener. The benefits of this mode of interaction are as follows.

Satisfying personal relationships

Non-violent interaction is a short, accurate and precise expression of a message. Its goal is to improve understanding. Such an expression leaves less room for criticism and more room for effective message exchange.

If we share our concerns in a confident way,  we will allow the other person to understand them and take part in them. Marshall Rosenberg stressed the importance of getting another person to take part in a “shared hope that has failed.”

Conflict resolution

The key to proper non-violent interaction is talking from our own perspective. In this way, no one can argue against our message. This is because the messages belong to whoever expresses them. That is, when we want to avoid someone interpreting our message as some kind of hint or attack, we have to use “I” statements such as “I feel”.

We might say, “We agreed to meet in an hour, but you’re always late. You are so selfish. ” Instead, we could try the following: “I feel like you’re always waiting for me for so long, and it makes me feel like I don’t want to be with you anymore. It’s discouraging, and it makes me feel helpless. ”

Let us replace accusations and criticisms with messages of what we feel. In this way, our interaction does not become so negative. We can express ourselves without offending another. And instead of both of us getting nervous, together we can find a solution to the problem.

Integrity

We need to know how to say “no” and how to accept a negative answer. This is the only way to be honest with ourselves as well as others. But in order to truly manage non-violent interaction, there is another stage. We need to eliminate all speculative and destructive communication behaviors.

According to Bob Wentworth, an NVC expert,  “Perception sets the context, emotions need support, and our liberation needs that support; the request clarifies the appropriate response. ” If we use these elements, we can eliminate any moral judgments. We talk more about this below.

non-violent interaction: empathic conversation

Developing listening and understanding skills

Non-violent interaction promotes empathy. We understand empathy to be a compassionate understanding of what is happening within all of us. It means that we take into account emotions, thoughts and judgments.

Such communication also favors a kind of other empathy, the  ability to understand the other person emotionally. It helps us to understand not only ideas and thoughts, but also emotions.

Behavior that prevents non-violent interaction

Rosenberg believes that just as non-violent interaction offers many benefits, there are also communication styles that prevent positive interaction. They hinder the development of such communication, and as a result also empathy and self-confidence. Let’s look at some of these interaction styles.

Moral condemnation

Moral condemnation is a form of impersonal expression. It does not communicate what a person actually feels, but only what he is trying to cover up. They take new forms, such as criticism, harassment, insults, or cynical form. Rosenberg suggests that we exchange these for objective observation. He encourages people to avoid judging others, and instead focus on what they feel.

“The report you gave me is a disaster. We can’t give it to anyone like that. ” We could change this to the following:  “There are some things in the report you gave me that we need to improve. Please try to change them before we report to our client. ”

Requirements and comparisons with others

Requests, demands, insults…  We all use these tools to make others understand us. After all, they are threats that mean accusations and punishments if we don’t get what we want. They are forms of manipulation and aggressive interaction.

accusations

Disclaimer

Sometimes people blame a third party for their own problems and thus avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.

People also deny responsibility by using impersonal or conditional language. They refer to diagnoses, past and experiences. The aim is to avoid liability for the consequences of what happened.

As we can see, non-violent interaction requires a lot of personal effort from all parties. However, the benefits of nonviolent interaction are worth the effort.

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