Some people go through their lives carefully with their words and actions so as not to disturb hypersensitive people. But if phrases like “I’m sorry” and “Don’t get angry” show up constantly in your life, you can be destroyed from within slowly but surely.
To some extent, we all spun in a crowded room. Sometimes we run into each other, and that’s normal. But in the nervous dance of human relationships, we sometimes encounter people with particularly sensitive skin. They are so sensitive that they react to the insult after the insult.
We are, of course, talking about hypersensitive people. Hypersensitive people are masters of suffering as well as spreading it around. They tend to appear to be victims, insecure, and lacking in self-esteem. They are slaves to the opinions of others, and constantly push guilt on the shoulders of others.
You need to be careful when building a relationship with such a person, as you will spend your life looking at every detail, choosing the right words and actions so that a hypersensitive person does not get hurt or worried.
This happens until you gradually crush your self-esteem by constantly repeating phrases like “Sorry, that was my fault.” Avoid such dynamics.
When their anger makes you feel guilty
“Don’t get mad, it’s not going to happen again.” “Calm down, really, don’t get mad, it was my fault.” When you have to constantly repeat sentences like this, you’re probably completely lost in the complex maze of psychology. You have to apologize in order to mitigate the punishment, which is almost invariably unjustified. You might even think it’s better to take the reasons to your necks to calm the anger.
But this kind of weight on your shoulders will only make you lose your immunity day by day. This is called “defensive guilt, ” a mechanism that victims of mental blackmail seek to protect themselves from helplessness.
This is certainly a rather complex subject. Keep in mind that hypersensitive people are very vulnerable. Despite the fact that their low self-esteem makes them make interpretations through being a victim, don’t forget that they can sometimes also be very aggressive.
Relationships with such people eventually turn into rituals. Everything will go well as long as you give up, lower your head and respect them through your actions and words. In this way, you prevent the demon emerging from sensitivity from raising its head.
If you don’t react in any way when you’re stuck in this spiral, you’ll become a fragile moth flying over flames. You continue it until you start burning your wings.
How to live with a hypersensitive person
You don’t have to run away or break away from them without a fight. You will regret it if you try to wean yourself away from them without a fight. It is always better to do your best before making radical decisions. If you love them, fight for them. If your struggle proves futile, there is no choice but to wean yourself off to save your personal and mental integrity.
It is worth noting that in the 1990s, a series of studies on hypersensitivity found that this was not a disorder but a personality trait. To better understand this, you must first be able to distinguish between different types of sensitivity.
The first type of sensitivity is directed at other people’s feelings. A person is able to know and understand other people’s feelings. The second type, called hypersensitivity, targets the self in response to what other people are saying or doing. It always happens in self-defense.
Strategies for dealing with hypersensitive people
Never adjust yourself to another person’s mania, obsessions, or concerns. If you obsessively try to avoid angering them to the point where you control even the smallest details, you lose everything.
Try to make them understand that if they are constantly hurt by something, they will only be unhappy and push others away from them.
Think before you judge or give your opinion. Think about how tired you are to act as a dartboard, to take guilt, to be a warning, to protect them and to keep them calm.
You need to be able to strengthen their self-esteem, but also appreciate yours. Their skin is very thin, but you already have too many scars.
Above all, ask for recognition and respect. For in the end, you get tired of walking on a minefield where even one wrong step can make them explode with anger or resentment. No one can spend their day in a state of constant alarm or endless stress. Life is too short to live in fear.