There are good parents and excellent parents. Children can be raised in very different ways. There are just as many different types and colors of children as there are parents in the world. Most parents want the best for their children. They love their children and want to make them happy. Therefore, they also set rules and boundaries that help build a unique order in the home.
Rules and boundaries must be clear, straightforward and stable. In addition, they need to be reviewed and adjusted as needed. They form the basis for the individual dynamics of each family. The dynamics of the family vary and change shape depending on what stage the family is going through at a given moment. Through all of these stages, the “broth” of psychoemotional development of each family is completed, seasoned with a spectrum of emotions and peppery, unpredictable events.
Good parents and excellent parents
Augusto Cury, doctor, psychiatrist, therapist and author, has written a book called Pure genius of parents, teachers Charming ( Brilliant Parents, Fascinating Teachers). This book provides tips for raising happy, proactive, confident, and intelligent children. In addition, she analyzes the habits of good parents as well as excellent parents.
1. Good parents give gifts, excellent parents give themselves
Good parents will fulfill the wishes of their children if they have the opportunity. They buy them clothes and toys, arrange bumps to celebrate their birthdays, travel with them, etc. Excellent parents give something of even greater value, something that cannot be bought with money. They give of themselves, their own story and experience. They share their thoughts, feelings, and time. This lifestyle of excellent parents feeds children’s self-esteem, emotional intelligence, tolerance for loss and disappointment, and the ability to speak and listen.
2. Good parents nourish their children’s bodies, while excellent parents nourish their personalities
Good parents feed their children to keep them healthy. Excellent parents also focus on nurturing their children’s intelligence and emotional life. Securing psychoemotional development requires more than a great education, a good financial position, or an excellent marriage. Children’s identities should be based on knowledge of who they really are as people, not just what they own. This habit, mastered by excellent parents, promotes children’s sense of security and the development of leadership skills, reflection, courage, optimism, fear management, and conflict prevention in them.
3. Good parents correct their children’s mistakes, while excellent parents teach them to think for themselves
When parents correct their children’s mistakes and repeat the same words over and over again, they lose their meaning. The only result is hostility, frustration and distancing. Excellent parents, on the other hand, surprise their children. They get their kids excited. They entice them to reflect. Such a mindset practiced by excellent parents feeds development in the areas of children’s critical awareness, the ability to think before they act, loyalty, honesty, the skill of questioning, and social responsibility.
4. Good parents prepare their children to receive praise, excellent parents prepare them to face disappointments
Good parents prepare their children for achievement, good grades, and success in school, work, and social relationships. Excellent parents realize that facing failure is much more challenging. Therefore, they teach that children do not have to fear failures. This way of excellent parents helps children develop in terms of motivation, courage and creativity, as well as taking advantage of the opportunities offered to them.
5. Good parents talk to their children, while excellent parents develop a dialogue with them
Many parents are unable to engage in dialogue about children’s fears, losses and frustrations. Dialogue involves self-expression, talking about one’s own experiences, and sharing the secrets of the heart. Overall, it means a deeper connection than the surface. Through maintaining dialogue, excellent parents help foster the development of solidarity, partnership, zest for life, optimism, and interpersonal skills in their children.
6. Good parents share information with children, excellent parents tell them stories
Good parents give their children information, but they do not tell them stories and do not maintain a dialogue with them. Children do not so much desperately need a figure of authority, money, or power as they need time with their parents to listen to emotion-filled stories and experiences. For this, they need excellent parents to help them develop into creative, resourceful, intelligent, reasoning and solution-oriented individuals.
7. Good parents give their children opportunities, excellent parents never give up
Good parents look at their children’s weaknesses through their fingers. Excellent parents do not give up even if the child goes through disappointments, makes mistakes, or suffers from mental difficulties. They believe in their children, see in them a living potential, help him develop ideas, without subjugating him. They help their child develop into a life-respecting, hope-filled, motivated, goal-oriented, and self-questioning individual who is not discouraged by opposition.
Sometimes the faith of the parents is shaken. They disappoint themselves. It is paramount to realize that while parenting means immense responsibility, the most essential thing is still affection and common sense. We can study educational strategies, the theories of Piaget and Vigotsky, Freud’s psychoanalysis, Gardner’s theory of polygamy, and Plato’s philosophies for decades. However, if we do not give our children love, enthusiasm and help them think, no research or theory is applicable in practice.
It’s about influencing a child’s emotional and rational universe. It’s about creativity and sincerity and inspiring them.