It is often argued that we are each the worst critic of ourselves, and that we tend to treat others better than ourselves. Most of us demand too much of ourselves, do not forgive ourselves for our mistakes, and struggle to be compassionate and kind to ourselves.
That’s why it’s essential that we learn to love, respect, and accept ourselves, just as we do to the people around us. Starting with ourselves makes it easier to extend feelings of kindness and compassion to others.
Many people believe that they need to be harsh on themselves so that they don’t just chess around without getting anything done. They feel they need strict time limits to move forward in life. That may be true and it is certainly acceptable to challenge oneself. The problem, then, is that we often focus on what we do wrong or what we could improve, and we are even obsessed with it. For the sake of experimentation, we could be a little less harsh and allow ourselves to make mistakes every now and then (which would also be a good learning experience).
We seem strong, determined and courageous to others, downright superheroes or miraculous. At the same time, however, we are disguising the fact that we are afraid, that we have doubts, and that we are unhappy .
This mask or curtain we put up will not help us. In fact, it does the exact opposite, because when the time comes when we have to be alone, we become the most unjust, harsh, and cruelest people the Earth bears, and we do not tolerate ourselves making the slightest mistake.
How to start being compassionate
Tokai “I love myself” doesn’t mean the same as narcissism, but only shows that I accept myself and love myself as I am. And while this seems to be the hardest thing in the world, it shouldn’t be that. Here are some tips that may help you:
It is acceptable to make mistakes
No one is perfect, and no one was born knowing everything. Just like it happens to others, you make mistakes because you are human. Don’t be stuck in your mistakes; don’t make a fly bull but put things in their proper proportions.
If there is something in your way of behaving, acting, or talking that you don’t like, focus more on it next time, analyze the situation, and determine how you can fix it. What if the same mistake happened to a friend or family member? Convince yourself that the world will not stop spinning just because you messed up, or rather because you admitted your mistake.
Don’t ignore the pain
Do not deny the painful feelings of grief, fear, suffering, despair, and depression. Hiding things from others can work in some cases, but there will still be a time when you have to go through your feelings and emotions .
We are able to deal with the bad feeling of a best friend or when our partner is having a bad day, but not that of saying “ I am sad today ” or “ I am depressed ”. All this because we want to move away from that unpleasant feeling, conceal it and leave it unrepaired. This only makes the situation worse.
Treat yourself the same way you would treat someone you love
Imagine you are in the kitchen with your little child who wants to help set the table. He takes the glass and it falls to the floor and shatters into a thousand shards. What would you say? You might scold him, but if he gets a wound or starts crying, you would comfort him, you would say it was an injury, a mistake that could hurt anyone.
Well, what if instead of your own child, you yourself dropped a glass that breaks into a thousand parts? Probably your first reaction would be to think that you are a useless futile who can’t do anything right. Compassion is far from this.
Compare both situations and Imagine how your child would feel if you said the same things to him as you tell yourself, and how you would feel if you were more understanding of yourself as you are with your child.
A bad day does not mean that bad luck has come to stay
We all go through moments we would rather forget. One that hurts us so much that we no longer feel good at all and it seems like we are walking a black cloud on our heads.
However, it is possible for us to overcome difficulties successfully; bad, unfortunate, unfortunate and unpleasant things and events. We can win the battle against the losing streak, bad luck, or why we want to call it. Even in the worst possible moments, there are always bright spots. Give yourself a few minutes each day to think about things you should be grateful for… You will realize that there are numerous reasons and they are still very good!
Don’t be your own worst enemy, become your best ally and friend sooner.