Resistance involves walls and obstacles, either conscious or unconscious, that prevent us from evolving and growing. Resistance may include beliefs, feelings, and thoughts. Many people resist change because of fear, anxiety, or pain.
Why are we opposed to change?
Fear of the unknown
When we leave our comfort zone into the unknown, we take a big risk. Risk includes fear and panic: how do I cope?
Lack of knowledge
We cannot always know what awaits us as we step on a new path. Lack of information can lead to resistance to change. One of man’s greatest fears is uncertainty. When we are unsure about something, we feel insecure. We have no guarantee of how things will go or how we will do: what if everything goes wrong? What if we can’t do it? Questions and suspicion overwhelm the mind. No one can lead us by the hand into a new phase of life, but we must move into it almost blindly.
Fear of failure
What if nothing goes as I hope? What if I fail? What about the pain and agony that comes from failure? What does everyone else think if I return home by milk train? What if people laugh at me? The fear of failure is one of the most crippling human feelings, and it can hold a person firmly in their own bubble, in their comfort zone. It is important to remember that this fear is in our own minds and that we can get rid of it.
Fear of betraying the trust of others
Many of us want to please and be nice to others. We are aware of what others may think of us and what they say about us. We fear criticism and condemnation of others, and we would like to get along with everyone. We fear that others ’trust will be betrayed, that we will not live up to their expectations, or that they will reject us if we say what we really feel and think. We do not want others to be disappointed. It is important to recognize this fear so that you can let go of it.
Fear of what others are saying
In our culture, we are used to pointing fingers and wondering and terrifying those who live life differently. Individuals who deviate from the mass often find themselves blindfolded and may face prejudice, contempt, and criticism. At the same time, however, the opposite mindset prevails in society, and we are encouraged to say honestly what we think and to be different, different pioneers. This contradiction can make you feel confused and insecure.
Fear of not being able to do what you want
This fear is manifested through the negative thoughts we impose on ourselves. “I can’t, I’m stupid, things never work out for me.”
Many of us live by the fact that the less we have to try, the better. All major efforts are tiring right away, and not enough energy or willpower. We leave things halfway and don’t challenge ourselves on new things. Change requires strength and will, but sometimes we are too lazy for it.
Better familiar evil than unknown good
This saying keeps us in our comfort zone. We would rather accept things we feel than turn blindly towards things we don’t know and don’t know are good or bad. Why would we leave our comfort zone? We know it thoroughly and know what it contains, no need to take risks. While change could be positive and improve our quality of life, we don’t want to take the risk that the change may eventually turn out to be negative.
Fear leads to many of our decisions and especially our reluctance to change. Uncertainty and laziness make change impossible.
This refers to external changes, such as changing the major of studies, changing the relationship, moving to a new house, a new job, etc.
One example of resistance to external change is gender inequality and differential treatment. Culture and society force women into a narrow mold: women must be charming, beautiful. Women need makeup and be interested in clothes. Women include the desire to have children and a husband. Sure, men also have similar demands in culture, but often men have more freedoms and power in their own lives, and a man’s value is not based as strictly on his appearance as a woman’s. When a person does not fit into this mold, one can feel desperate. So what is included, if not in this mold?
Such external pressures can cause fear, negative emotions, and insecurity.
Personal resistance is related to the three cornerstones of change: the desire for change, the opportunity for change, and knowledge of how change is achieved.
We can refuse change, that is our prerogative. No one is forced to change, but it is important to be aware that we have made that decision ourselves. Usually we put spiritual walls in front of the things we want and we know will make us happy. We may imagine that we don’t deserve these things or that we don’t have the ability to achieve them.
To overcome these problems, keep the following in mind:
- Define your goal and the result you want to achieve.
- Go through all the possible decisions you can make about it, and then choose one of them.
- Make a list of the things you need to do.
- Also list the steps you need to take towards the ultimate goal.
- Define how you can monitor your progress.
- Persevere. This is important. When you want something, don’t be discouraged or give up, but persevere in your pursuit.
- Anticipate what might happen. Create a plan in case something goes wrong.
And now, do you feel ready for change?
Remember that there are people in your immediate circle who are immediately ready to help and support you. You are not alone. Share your thoughts with others and seek support for your decisions.
If there is a problem you are closing your eyes to, teach yourself, read and ask questions before throwing yourself at the mercy of the unknown. This will make you happier. If you want something far enough, believe in your own abilities and persevere towards what is important to you. Trust your instincts and passion – they will lead you on the right path.