It’s Never Too Late To Give Your Feelings A Chance

It is never too late to give your emotions a chance

Good upbringing teaches children how to limit most desires so that they do not become part of the behavior. Desires that, when freed from the imagination, could harm other people or ourselves. However, there is a big difference between this and systematic emotion prevention.

Unfortunately, this happens quite often. Children can pose many challenges to patience, especially if you have a very demanding job, an awkward relationship with your partner, or a difficult personal past.

Therefore, some parents complain and want their children to be like robots that they can easily control without its major complications. Robots that remain calm and silent and do not disturb peace or pose a threat to the work environment. Robots that obey and never resist. In short, these parents want their children to learn to control their impulses themselves and think they have already born that skill in themselves.

No parent wants their children’s upbringing to be missed just because they never learned to control their emotions. In fact, many think that denying emotions and ignoring them prepares children for the world. However, the reality is completely different. People who grow up thinking that suppressing emotions is a positive thing will live their lives either imprisoned in guilt or in the constant bitterness brought on by reality.

Ways people deny their feelings

Children are immature beings who are completely dependent on adults. So children see adults as role models. Many parents do not realize that the goal of raising a child is to provide a strong hand that the child can hold on to while learning to walk and build their own path. Instead, parents often implement completely opposite strategies: they maintain addiction and, with it, obedience.

bubbles in the bottle

These parents raise their children to think that emotions are disturbing and therefore should be kept away from them. So how does this work in practice? There are many ways. One way that occurs especially among mothers is to indulge in the role of victim, which makes the child feel guilty. “If you don’t eat, Mom becomes sad,” she says. It may seem harmless, but in reality it can have implications for much more complex behavior.

Some also use a strategy of direct coercion and fear. These parents apply severe punishments and require their children to act in accordance with the fear of punishment. The worst part is that they end up punishing completely healthy behaviors like crying, anger and laughter. “If you keep crying, you know what’s going on,” they say. Or, “stop laughing if you don’t want to be punished.” Such sentences are very common in this kind of parenting.

In these cases, the child is likely to have a reason to cry, laugh, or get angry. Emotions in themselves are not good or bad; they are human. Normal people laugh, cry and get angry. The child should only learn to set limits on emotions so that they do not lead to unhealthy behaviors. But feeling the emotions themselves is perfectly normal and healthy. However, some parents experience anxiety when their children feel sadness or anger, so they end up taking an easier but even more brutal path: repression.

the suppression of the man's emotions retaliated

It is possible to “re-educate” yourself

It is true that our childhood leaves lasting marks on us. However, that doesn’t mean you couldn’t work yourself out and minimize the significance of those traces. First, you need to recognize that traces exist and prevent you from progressing in your life.

Recognizing the mistakes made by your parents does not mean that you would not respect them or that you would intentionally hurt them. Nor does it mean that you would love them any less. Think of it more as a way to complement and enhance the upbringing your parents have already given you. Of course, every parent wants to see their children happy, but sometimes they may choose the wrong path to achieve a goal. In that case, you as an adult should retrain yourself.

Even as an adult, you may still think that way after you have been taught:  it is better to keep yourself away from your feelings so that they do not become an obstacle to life. You might even praise it and see it as a sign of maturity. It shows you won’t cry even if you wanted to. You just try to breathe and adjust to things. You are sensible with your anger and you will never shout or lose your nerves. Sometimes, however, you may experience intolerable anxiety attacks or get stuck in certain situations.

the girl floats in the air

Remember, if your emotions are overwhelmed, it’s not because they’re dangerous or negative. No one has simply taught you to regulate your emotions or harness their energy to your advantage. Also, if you are in a hurry to hide your emotions, you may be accumulating so much emotional energy that will sooner or later explode and cause more annoyance than the intelligent regulation of the same emotions.

The bad news is that no one taught you to do that. No one told you that part of yourself or that it would really make life better. The good news, though, is that you can still give your emotions a chance and build a different relationship with them. So, I would like to invite you from this corner of the world to make the most of your feelings.

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