Wherever and in the midst of any situation, we are exposed to conflict on a daily basis. To solve them, we need to consider what actually happened. We also need to understand that every human being is a unique entity. We make mistakes over and over again, even if that is not our intention. The skill of apology is a part of life, and learning it is essential to developing our life skills.
Some people believe that apology means weakness. With this in mind, pride becomes an obstacle to the process of apology. Even if we knew we had made a mistake, we have no intention of correcting the situation. Instead, we often tend to cover it up. No matter how aware of our own mistakes or failures, the most important thing for us is still not to show our vulnerability – not under any circumstances.
Another barrier to learning the skill of apology is the fear of how the other party will react to it. We have no certainty about how that other person will respond to our apology. This creates fear in us . It is that uncertainty that is the factor that paralyzes us and makes us shirk responsibility for our actions and their consequences. We feel guilty about the mistake we made, and it passivates us.
Learn the apology skill face to face
It’s not easy to admit that everyone makes mistakes that affect other people. This is especially true in the case where we think of mistakes as failures. If, on the other hand, we acknowledge the possibility of growth with mistakes, the story becomes completely different.
In any case, in order to learn the skill of apology, it is best to talk to the other party face to face. If you wish, you can still write them a message in advance acknowledging and admitting your mistake. This is how you have already taken the first step. You have approached the other party without compensating for an essential – face-to-face – need. This step is fundamental and demonstrates the authenticity of your remorse.
It is important that you dedicate time to the person you are apologizing to. Your words don’t carry much weight if you seem impatient. In addition to this, it may signal that that decision did not occur naturally in you. Rather, it may seem like a decision made as a result of pressure from someone or someone.
The skill of apologizing requires humility
Practicing humility means understanding that you have made a mistake. It says you have accepted it as a fact. It also requires you to want to work hard to repair the damage you have caused. An apology actually serves as a tool for symbolic correction. In some cases, however, you need to go even further and compensate for your behavior in some more concrete way.
However, don’t forget that your postures and gestures are also important aspects of communication. The message they embody is generally interpreted more sincerely than the one you form with your words. The best part is that the message your body language communicates is on the same lines as the message you want to convey. When you want to communicate the authenticity of your apology, be sure to look the other party in the eye. Also try to avoid crossing your arms. In this way, you help create a more open atmosphere for a smooth conversation, and you don’t limit the demonstration of empathy through defensive body language.
Always strive to communicate warmth and confidence. You can achieve this through physical closeness. A strong but friendly handshake, and a touch on the shoulder or arm will help communicate this. Or why not give a friendly hug? These are just some of the options. Of course, it all also depends on the personality of that other individual and the strength of the emotional bond between you.
Once you have created an atmosphere of mutual intimacy, you have the opportunity to explain your own contribution to the issue. It is important to specify exactly how you think you made a mistake and seek confirmation from the other party that he or she sees the situation as well. Listen to what the other party wants to say without trying to anticipate his or her responses. State what you want to do to remedy the situation. Your nobility and courage to face the situation are the best guarantees that your apology will be accepted.