Learning Through Acceptance

Learning through acceptance

The most significant changes in life begin to happen when we accept things as they are. This includes acceptance of the things that life has put in our way, as well as acceptance of ourselves.

In our ever-changing lives, we are repeatedly hit by situations where the only thing we can do is accept things as they are. What happens when we refuse to accept things as they are?

When we oppose change, we fight things over which we have no control; things we can do absolutely nothing to avoid because it is something that has already happened or is happening around us. Denying the situation only causes us suffering.

The clearest situations in which acceptance plays a fundamental role are in death, love, and heartache. How can we forbid death and falling in love or its cessation? Well, sometimes we do. We will forcibly remain in a state where we deny these facts, about which we can do nothing, let us not avoid them let alone change them.

These are not good or bad situations. These are facts that are an inherent part of being human and living. They are a part of our lives. Whether they cause us joy or sorrow

“If you are not strong enough to create your own conditions for life, you should accept the conditions that life offers.” 

-TS Eliot-

Path to approval

The need to understand

Our natural reaction to things that are not under our control is to try to give them an answer, to find an explanation that offers some kind of relief. We feel a strong innate need to understand everything we find happening in our lives.

We then forget that the way we understand events will always be the result of our interpretation, our experiences, and the explanations we use to convince ourselves that it is as if it is our reality.

“Surprise and respectful fear is the beginning of understanding.”

José Ortega y Gasset-

We get lost in reason and words when ultimately every truth and reality is within us. They can be found in what we feel, in the feelings we experience.  Going towards the feeling that our own body is trying to show us is an acceptance of the reality that is currently happening to us.

The tendency to move towards reasoning as an explanation for why some things are as they are, such as love, is only an obstacle that we place on ourselves and that prevents us from accepting reality.

“Understanding is an empty plate on which nothing is written.”

-Aristotle-

What happens when we don’t accept what happens to us? 

When we bury the feelings we don’t want to deal with, we are at the same time denying our entire existence. We do this in our attempt to cope with grief, or because we are scared that our feelings are causing us too much pain, a pain we don’t think we can endure or face.

We bury our own most authentic being, our core juice. We leave many of our emotions stuck inside us to rumble when they should be released,  lived through, and experienced.

When we do this,  we forget a very central part of our own humanity.  We do not then accept our own sensitivity and vulnerability, but believe that we are somehow above them.

The body is responsible to give us warning signs, so that we can release everything that has been bottled up inside us (anger, sadness, anger, hate, etc.). If we do not do so, has also been condemned our energy to be bottled up inside us, and as a result of this illness and detachment are displayed in ourselves and in our happiness .

The hand touches a dry surface

The road to approval

Personal development and learning occurs when we are ready to accept our feelings exactly as they are, without filtering them through reason that modifies, suppresses, or obscures them.

We might keep in mind that reason provides an explanation for what is happening, but when we get stuck in it, we turn our attention away from reality.

Real learning happens when we are ready to accept reality as it is  and allow ourselves to feel every single feeling that pops out in every situation we live through.

This is how we transform, following the flow and oneness of life. For everything we deny and refuse to accept forces us to experience the disconnection of ourselves and all that follows from it.

When we accept the inevitable facts of our lives,  we may experience very intense grief. But feeling is exactly what frees us from it, frees us to move forward and make room for new feelings and experiences.

The moment we begin to accept what is happening in our lives, we begin to accept ourselves.  We are ready to forgive others and ourselves, to move forward toward new experiences, to let our energy flourish, and to feel alive.

“Reason has not taught me anything. Everything I know, I have learned through the heart. ”

-Leo Tolstoi-

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