Life is an awesome journey that is constantly changing. Everything has a beginning and an end, and things that were present yesterday may disappear as early as tomorrow. Accepting this reality will help us live more peacefully here and now, enjoying the things that are within our reach, regardless of whether we may lose them or not.
It’s really important to learn to decide the stages, songs, and stories in our own lives, because that’s what living means: change, renewal, and not staying in the famous and blissful comfort zone any longer than necessary.
Fear of uncertainty
Change creates uncertainty that makes us fear. Humans have a strong desire to control, but rational beings when we are, we must learn that certainty does not even exist, the only exception being death. As hard as we try to control our own world, certain things will happen when we least expect it, and we have no power whatsoever to change this.
Thus, he ceases to try to control everything. You can’t do it and mere attempt will only get you out of your mind. Accept that things come to an end, change is inevitable and that everything will be fine because this is perfectly normal. This is just a part of life.
You don’t want to get stuck in a place where you no longer have to be, just for fear or uncertainty. You may suffer today from deciding that song of your life, but as early as tomorrow you will be happy and start a new song that will probably be much better. It’s going to be better because you’re better. You have learned from previous songs, drawn conclusions and matured as a human being, there has also been a change within you.
Treat memories as they are, and don’t try to confuse them with exaggerated emotions. What was then will never come back, and there is no point in brooding it any more. Now you have a new stage and stage in front of you that you are allowed to explore and explore, as well as get to know yourself better. Above all, you have the right to appreciate it and enjoy it.
If you reflect on things objectively and distance yourself from your feelings, then you will find that nothing is completely good or completely bad. If your relationship is over and that phase of your life is over, then you can now think about how maybe you can do things you couldn’t do while you were with that person, or how you’ve now learned what you don’t want in your life. It is true that you have lost all the nice and comfortable things you shared with that person, but as said, other good things will come into your life, new doors will open and you will find new exciting paths.
Everything changes, everything goes away, everything is reinvented. Us ourselves. We evolve as human beings, we do not remain unchanged. The person you were yesterday is by no means the same person you are today. Change occurs in us whenever we grow, we mature, we age, and we die; this is the natural order of things, and there is no point in going against the current or trying to change it. We just have to calmly accept this.
How to get rid of fear
Stop asking why
Why did he have to die? Why did he leave me for someone else? Why did he divorce me? Why did they separate me? Asking yourself these questions will not solve or change anything. And most likely, it won’t make you feel any better either.
Gone is the past, let it go. Don’t create more problems or unnecessary frustrations by trying to figure out why. Maybe you’ll never know why anything happens and even if you do, it usually doesn’t change anything.
Review and re-evaluate your internal conversation
Don’t say things like “it’s not fair that this ended,” “my life has no meaning after the divorce,” etc. These are false, exaggerated, and impractical thoughts. You will adapt to change sooner or later, but it will happen much sooner if you learn to control your own thoughts.
To do this, you need to change those thoughts to more realistic ones until you finally start believing in them and they become automatic: “Maybe it’s unfair that this ended, but life is unfair. I will survive this, ”“ the purpose of my life is not dependent on one person and there are countless other things I can enjoy. ”
Get rid of things that don’t add anything to your life
Throw old stuff away, delete pictures, shred documents, donate old clothes, move to a new home, get a new partner or a new job… Don’t stay anchored in a place you no longer fit.
Start building your own present moment and mapping your future. The things you think you need are not really essential in your life. What matters is eating, breathing, sleeping, and drinking… Everything else is just routine, learned habits. People have the ability to get used to things and then wean away from them, developing habits and then getting rid of them. You can do it, so get the job done and don’t be scared! Nothing horrible is going to happen!
Try to put these three steps into practice and you will have wisdom, maturity, strength and mental health. Predict, embrace and accept changes; make them a part of yourself, your life, your world.
Look ahead, just like you do when driving a car, never stay behind to watch. You only have to look in the rearview mirror for a fraction of a second, but to be able to drive safely you have to constantly look in front of you, observing and accepting what is currently happening, as well as everything that is still promised.