An unstable personality makes the lives of the people who suffer from it and also their families difficult. It is a rare psychological disorder that affects about 2% of the population and is usually seen in people aged 20-25. But those with an unstable personality usually have early symptoms that may have existed during personality development as early as 12-13 years of age.
Although this is a fairly rare disorder, it has been thoroughly studied due to the difficulties and problems that the person suffering from it has to deal with on a daily basis. Impulsivity, a strong fear of rejection, and a lack of mental control are the distinguishing factors found in patients with this disorder. We could say that it leads to many problems that prevent life from being a “normal” life.
In this article, we discuss what an unstable personality really is and give recommendations to those who suffer from it. The information presented in this article is from patients with an unstable personality and is inspired by the work of Dr. Marsha M. Linehan. Marsha M. Linehan is an expert in this disorder.
Problems with impulsivity
First, a person with an unstable personality has a high level of impulsivity that depends on the person’s mood and the situation they face. Living with an unstable personality means the development of impulsive behavior that causes a person to make choices that he or she later regrets. ‘ ‘ It’s like I’m constantly living in my hands with a balloon that explodes at any moment, ” says one person with an unstable personality.
This impulsive behavior affects their relationships as they make hasty decisions based on their current feelings. At work or at the professional level, on the other hand, people with an unstable personality may change jobs for no reason. In addition to this, everything can lead to a state of constant instability, which can affect emotional stability.
In this sense, people with an unstable personality need to have strategies, cognitive skills, and behavioral skills to be able to control their impulsive behavior. In addition to this, it is important that people with an unstable personality know how to use positive and flexible assurances when evaluating daily situations and experiences.
Uncertainty caused by fear of being rejected
Suffering from an unstable personality often means ” that a person cannot enjoy relationships, for a person suffering from this disorder is afraid that the person he or she loves will leave him or her. ” This is what a 37-year-old patient with an unstable personality says. A person with such an unstable personality is constantly afraid of being rejected, and he sees nothing positive in the matter.
The fear of being rejected does not need to be expressed verbally, i.e., a person with an unstable personality does not need to tell their loved ones that he or she is afraid they will leave him or her. This fear of being rejected is often manifested in jealousy, control of the other, avoidance of individual activities, and loneliness. Therapy developed for this disease attempts to control this fear and stop jealousy and controlling behaviors.
It may be that a person with an unstable personality has experienced rejection at the family or personal level. The problem is that he has not been able to get over this tragedy, and therefore he generalizes this experience to almost all areas of his personal life. For people with an unstable personality, it is important through therapy to heal the wounds of the past, using a variety of techniques to overcome this fear.
Roller coaster feelings
One of the biggest symptoms of this disorder is the difficulty in controlling your own emotions, which are strong and disproportionate to the real situation. That is why ” living with an unstable personality is intense, either good or bad. ”
In addition, problems of emotion management begin in childhood, where the child’s emotions were not valued because he believed that his emotions were not important. The child lost the ability to classify their emotions, he did not know how to soften them, that is, suffering from an unstable personality in adulthood means “knowing emotional bursts that we misunderstand because they manifest at the same time.”
People with an unstable personality experience the best and the bad of their emotional world because they fail to control emotional reactions because their emotions are really strong. Many therapy sessions focus on emotional management skills.
Finally, it is important to emphasize that living with an unstable personality requires a lot of patience and empathy from others. Just like with other personality disorders, people around these patients share some of the problems with the disorder.
If you suffer from an unstable personality, remember that the people who love you the most may not know what to do or how to help you. It is recommended to speak to a professional.