There are people who are just wasting our time; and time is something of great value that we value only in the critical moments of our lives. Wasting time is something we lose forever, for it can never go back. Indeed, each of us has an average lifespan of about 27,000 days. From this time we must deduct a third for sleep, and another significant portion for the time of our first years of life, which we do not remember.
Why are we involved in relationships that just waste our time? Why do we share minutes, days, or years with people who offer us nothing? The answer to this question is very complex, and of course it is also necessary to analyze everyone’s personal story to give it meaning.
It should be noted, however, that we do not enter into inappropriate relationships or waste time just because it just goes that way. It’s not about people behaving selfishly, but a healthy person in their own behavior and in their own relationships. We could give love and become loved, but if we just waste time in a relationship where this is not possible, at the same time we miss the opportunity to take advantage of this feeling with another person.
Wasting time with someone is more than suffering
There are people who are wasting our time today, but who may have filled it with joy in the past. Understanding that life is change and full of cycles also means accepting this and living in time. Understanding this will help us end those unnecessary pain long before everything beautiful around us begins to rot.
Even if we like to protect the appearance, emotions do not disappoint or deceive. Thus, the feelings of frustration and disappointment accumulated in a relationship turn into a negative state of mind towards the other person. It is an inability to show love to another or give hugs. It is an inability to offer compliments to another, to get them back and it is even in search of the best smile in secret because it no longer comes out spontaneously.
Relationships require maintenance, but there is a difference between maintaining good relationships and forcing bad relationships that doesn’t make much sense. When we are already fundamentally incompatible with another person, we run the risk of wasting our valuable time in this relationship.
Every relationship we find in our lives has served a different purpose: some bring out our best in us, others bring out our worst, and most leave us indifferent. The important thing is that this does not limit our thoughts on human relationships and that it does not make us keep our hearts open.
Relationships have not always made us waste our time
If there is something difficult in a relationship, then it is the knowledge of when to distance yourself from certain people and when to assume that it is better to be alone at a certain time than to continue the relationship as a mere prop. However, wasting time does not mean losing the opportunity to regain lost time. There are people who make us make up for all that lost time that was just full of reproaches, uncertainties and disloyalty.
We need to stop lending minutes, days and years to those relationships that only take away the meaning of our existence. We know we’ve wasted time with someone when we don’t miss him. We know it when good memories no longer appear in our minds without being tainted by feelings of failure and disappointment. Wasting time is sharing life with someone we no longer admire or value.
Alarm signs that indicate a deterioration in the relationship
Deterioration in a relationship is something that is easy to detect but very difficult to face. How many times have we had to go out with another without wanting to, spend time with another while our minds and thoughts are elsewhere, or pay for a journey we want to end even before we have even set foot on our destination? These are clear indicators that something is seriously wrong with the relationship, but it is difficult to take action to end the relationship.
How do we distance ourselves from such a relationship without damaging the other and destroying everything we once built together with the other? It is difficult, but necessary. Sometimes just the desire to do so makes us immediately feel guilty.
Signs that something is wrong
We can find some objective indicators that need to make us think and move ourselves closer to the decision to leave relationships that are just a waste of our time. Some of the clearest, but also the most painful, signs are:
- Your presence seems to bother another person. The way you express yourself, your opinions, or even the way you eat eats at others. You’re no longer comfortable being around because you have to stay alert all the time.
- He questions you in front of acquaintances and friends: He can, for example, bring up personal issues that have no bearing on the situation; he puts you under the gaze of people who shouldn’t even be involved in that personal conversation, the highlighting of which is solely your decision.
- You feel distrust instead of calm when you’re not with him; you feel like he’s talking about you evil behind your back.
- He doesn’t advise you, nor does he comfort you: he criticizes, mocks, or even “challenges a dispute” with you from anywhere.
- None of the plans you suggest seem good to him.
- There may not be outright quarrels or anger in the relationship, but the atmosphere between you is so tense that it could be cut with a knife.
- Her gaze is no longer sweet, friendly and soothing. Now he looks at you hoping to get something you don’t even know for yourself what it could be. It’s an accusatory look, it’s an empty look. You can’t see anything in the look of his eyes.
- In short: you no longer see clarity in another person, you only see obscure currents that penetrate deeper and deeper into you and that make you feel aggressive, sad, stressed, and betrayed.
All of these considerations are just one sign that you are wasting your time with that person. Be it a friend, cousin, sister, partner or mother. Depending on the quality of the relationship, the emotional pain will be greater.
Also, don’t forget that one day it hurts a lot, but on many other days you will feel relief from your decision to leave an unhappy relationship behind you. But this will happen later than soon if you decide to postpone the decision for too long.
People are coming our way to fill that void
After suffering, one day someone will come our way with whom we feel that life will begin to rebuild. At the same time, we can feel how we get support from another without bad intentions. A person who creates new hope can be a friend, co-worker, or partner.
We can know that we will no longer waste time when we can express our opinions freely. When a smile floods our faces or when we argue honestly and resolve ambiguities, misunderstandings and disagreements without bitterness and resentment.
We should not give up this opportunity, because we all have a right to it. Hope is strong and the facts it drives us to are even stronger.
If you find that you have wasted time with another person, you have already won because you have been able to provide an end to that story. Now the most beautiful thing is ahead: restoring lost time by loving yourself and loving others. If the attempt fails, don’t wait as long as the last time, it’s a life cycle.