Six Tips To Improve Communication Between Parents And Children

Six tips to improve communication between parents and children

There is no parenting manual that works for every parent in the world. But there are certain general rules that act as a reliable compass if we want to create a good relationship with our children. These guidelines can also guide us on how to talk to children about sensitive topics. Communication between children and parents is extremely important.

In this article,  we are going to provide tips for better communication and empathy. We offer advice on how to actively listen to children and how to get them to talk to us.

Don’t try to put pressure, just talk to your kids!

When we communicate with our children, it would be best not to give narrow-minded, “things are as is” type opinions. 

Let’s listen to the reasons why they did what they did and let’s try to find an agreement that both agree on. It is true that this will require more effort, but these agreements are more likely to be monitored.

As parents, we want to manage every situation our children experience. At home, with siblings, with friends, with grandparents, at school, etc. We believe that if we tell them what they need to do, even if the situation is over, they will obey us 

The best way to help children with conflict is  to help them reflect and try to understand the reasons why they behave this way. This is also good for our relationship, as they can feel listened to and taken into account.

family on a picnic

Talk to the children about your own experiences

Communication between children and parents should be two-way and made natural for children. It may be helpful for us to tell children about our own experiences,  both past and present. Let’s tell them what we feel and what we think. This makes us look more human and topple that facade of invincibility that we sometimes maintain.

With this style of communication, our children feel close to us and they learn new ways to solve problems. This does not necessarily mean that they would do the same, but at least it will pave the way for openness and trust. They will trust us enough to tell you what is going on in their lives.

Listen actively, and don’t judge

Active listening means empathy and emotional transmission. This means that we need to work harder to break down the walls, especially the walls of uncertainty and indecision. Therefore, it is important not to use anything they say with confidence against them. No matter how angry we are at the moment.

Parenting is challenging. One of the challenges is opening our minds and understanding that they have different ways of seeing the world. Their perspectives deserve as much respect as ours. We need to see our children as equal, equal, or even superior to us in certain conversations, when they are older.

When we don’t judge them, we send them a clear message that we want to listen and that we are willing to accept them. We are willing to accept that they are sad, angry, or hurt. Then when we recognize their feelings, we can help them make decisions.

communication between children and parents: mother and daughter talking

First we are parents, then only friends

It is important to be open when we talk to our children. We want to know what they like, what their interests are…  But our children need a parent to guide them and set boundaries; we don’t have to be their friends. Friendship is not our role, or at least not our primary role.

As our children grow older and become teenagers, they will have things and problems they don’t want to talk to about us. It is important that we respect this and be patient with them. Maybe they don’t want to talk about these things now, but if we’re open, maybe they want to talk about them later. 

And if we keep good lines of communication open and stay close to our children, these topics will diminish. After all, they come to us when they have pressing problems. But like we said, this will only happen if we respect their privacy and independence (depending on their age, of course). Otherwise, they will only distance themselves from us to protect their rights.

Leading by example

Communication between parents and children should be direct and clear. If our children see us talking about them, our family, and other personal issues with others, they are more likely to withdraw. They are afraid we will share their secrets with others.

The next foundation for good communication is sincerity. It is important to always try to be honest about what we think, say and feel. This also means keeping the promises and commitments we make.

If we are sincere, our children are more likely to come to us, even though they know we may not like what they say. They are doing something great: they are confident that together we will find solutions to their problems. 

Honesty also means apologizing and admitting our mistakes. Our children behave as they see us behaving. We are their role models. If we don’t act with honesty and integrity, it’s more likely that they won’t act like that either.

Don’t argue about “who’s right”

Really often, conversations turn into debates and disputes. It is important to avoid this by being moderate and behaving adultly. We need to use the right tone and listen first – no interruptions.

Everyone should explain their own reasons and opinions. After that, we can try to reach an agreement. Really often we disagree with our children, or they disagree with us. But each of us should be able to express ourselves without feeling underestimated.

Our children have their own opinions and reasons to act in a certain way, which is not always the same as how we act. Therefore, talking to them without trying to put pressure on our own thoughts is the best way to promote good communication. In addition to this, we make them feel valued and heard.

sad girl

Final tips to improve communication between parents and children

Here are the final suggestions. Let us work for these and pave the way for communication based on trust.

  • Let’s ask them what they need if they want to talk to us. Do they want advice or help in solving the problem? Or do they simply want us to listen to them?
  • Speaking positively. Let’s talk about their attitudes, not about them themselves. “I don’t like what you did”  or  “you might have been able to do it differently,”  instead of  “you’re wrong.”
  • Let them make mistakes. We are unable to prevent them from making mistakes, and often these experiences teach them something.
  • Let us be clear when giving information. Let us be consistent, and let us not be contradictory, so that it is clear to them what we are asking of them and they will not be confused.
  • Let’s involve them in making decisions that affect the family.

Communication is the foundation of any relationship. It is an indirect determinant of fundamental values ​​such as trust and sincerity. This is exactly the reason why we say that communication between parents and children is worth the time and thought. 

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button