Sometimes “I believe in you and trust you” is more valuable to us than “I love you”. In the end, love is nothing but a word, at least if it is not followed by deeds that confirm it. So just a few sentences have more value than “I believe in you. I am here”.
All of these affective dynamics belong to what we now call “trust psychology”. It’s not a whole new area of Behavioral Sciences and a research formula for personality, but now we’re referring to a newer field of knowledge. Some of these studies have shown that only a few things have a positive effect on the brain because they understand that we have absolute support from the people we love.
When you create a significant bond with someone, be it a romantic or a friendship, there is one thing you value most. What strengthens this bond is absolute trust in that person. If that doesn’t happen, if at some point you notice a lack of harmony or confidence, something in you will start to crumble.
We all want to believe when we describe our goals that we want to achieve, or when things don’t go very well or say we’ll come back… If that doesn’t happen, if the listener makes ironic remarks, ignores or doubts us, the brain starts secreting cortisol. Stress hormone sprays like a fountain, warning us that not everything is right…
“I believe in you and I will be with you to the end” is more valuable than a thousand words
Trust is not just an integral part of a romantic relationship. At work, it is necessary, which is something that many companies still ignore or do not understand. For example, the CEO of Yahoo requires that all of his employees work in the same building. He wants to monitor each business process closely. He wants all units to follow the same line.
Something that may seem logical at first has different nuances on a psychological level. Virgin Group founder Richard Branson has the opposite approach. He does not require his employees to be close, but in fact they are all over the world.
According to Branson, every human bond must be created for trust. When it’s time to awaken an employee’s impulse, creativity, and productivity, nothing has a better impact than saying to them, “I believe in your skills and commitment wherever you are. I believe you when you tell me you are doing your best for this company. ”
“I believe in you” is far more valuable than the whole speech. It is a positive reinforcement that gives you wings to fly and roots to continue to grow. It gives you the reassurance that you both share one purpose, one common goal. Behavioral scientist Ernest Fehr stated that trust is not something that should be taken for granted. Not when we love someone or when we maintain a friendship or a working relationship.
I believe in myself, but I also want you to believe in me
The fact that you need someone who believes in you, your worth, and the truthfulness of your actions and words does not make you dependent on his confirmation. This is the cornerstone in every respect. A child needs it from their parents to grow and increase autonomy, self-esteem and confidence. The parties to a relationship need it to secure their relationship, to gain stability and happiness.
When you hear the words “I believe in you,” the fear and tension evaporate and you don’t feel lost. “I believe in you” makes you less lonely and sometimes even inspires you much more than “I love you”. This feeling does not diminish your value or dignity in the slightest degree. Because while it is necessary to believe in yourself and your own abilities, it is also important to realize that the roots of trust with important people are solid. It’s important to know and feel that they are for you and believe in you, even if you don’t believe in yourself.
Neuroscience also explains that knowing this type of safety and reinforcement allows the release of oxytocin. It is a hormone of affection, happiness and especially social connection. Providing such support on a daily basis constitutes some form of prosocial behavior that guarantees psychological well-being and better mental health.
The need for support is in our genetic heritage
Strange as it may seem, the need to trust others is in the nature born of DNA. The support of other people has always been a key factor in our survival. That’s why experts in the field tell us that in order to get others to trust us, we need to start by trusting the person in front of us.
We are aware that sometimes it is difficult, and it is even more difficult if we are sometimes deceived. In this way, however, the most genuine relationships grow. This will also help you achieve happier relationships and stable work projects.