When problems arise in your life, you may tend to ask, “why me ?”. It’s very easy to think about how life is unfair, and put yourself in the role of a victim. “I’m a good person,” you might say. “I always help others. It’s so unfair! ”
But with the question “why me ?” you achieve very little. You just cling to your worries and immerse yourself in a spiral of thoughts and feelings that will eventually take you lower and lower.
For this reason, you should stop asking “why me ?”, And instead find out why. Because when you start to see your setback as an opportunity to learn, your well-being increases.
Of course, there are certain events, such as illnesses or accidents, that are not completely under your control. But you have the power to decide how to deal with them.
Why put obstacles in the way?
When you realize why something happened, you change from a victim to a learner. As we have said, freezing the question “why me ?” does not allow you to move forward or learn. Instead, figuring out why that thing happened will give you control and control of your life back in your hands. You recognize that you are free.
Imagine a person who repeatedly fails at work. He is intelligent, educated and has every chance of success. However, he has been unemployed for some time.
“Why me ?” He asks. “I’m smart, I’ve studied at university and worked so hard. Yet other people who haven’t even studied are more successful than I am. I also don’t have any friends. Why doesn’t anyone call me? ” With such an approach, he is trapped in an endless circle without a way out. And you will never get answers to your questions.
If, on the other hand, he adopted a different attitude, he could ask himself “how can I learn from this?”. There may be several answers, such as “open your perspective, retrain, spend more time with your family, or travel”. By adopting such an attitude, he is quick, ready, and willing to seize every opportunity that comes his way.
When you figure out why something happened, you don’t fall into the trap of circumstances or slowness. Because in reality, problems often occur because of “self-fulfilling prophecy”. This means that if you believe that nothing will ever go well and you always have misfortune, then most likely it will come true.
What can you control?
When you accept why something happened, you also take responsibility for it. However, don’t forget that there are always certain things that are not completely under your control.
You can make a change at any time. Let us reconsider the previous example of an educated, unemployed person. This person should perhaps stop trying to find a “perfect” job and accept a less ambitious job. He may find that taking the first step is the hardest, but it is the only way he will eventually achieve his goals.
Knowing where your actions might lead you in the future is essential for you to start making changes. If you can do something today, do it! Otherwise, you may find that someone, be it life, chance or slowness, hits your way.