Criticism is something we encounter every day. It is very common, but it is still very difficult for us to get used to it. Criticism is always hard to accept and digest, especially when it comes from the people we care about.
Criticism is inevitable
Approval is the first step. If we don’t internalize that criticism is completely normal and repetitive, our frustration will kill us. Only if we live on our own island, separate from the rest of humanity, can we avoid colliding with the opinions of others. There will always be someone who has something negative to say about us.
At the same time, we must also accept that we ourselves (some more than others) have done the same at some point in our lives. Perhaps innocently or to a more destructive model. Maybe we did so because others did. In any case, we have to accept that sometimes we criticize others and other times we are the object of criticism .
“For every stone cast upon me, I will build my fortress. “
Patience requires the use of all your resources to maintain peace. It can be achieved by avoiding abruptness, impulsivity, and staying calm; allowing immediate emotions to cool so you can analyze the situation clearly and act more sensibly.
These aids include, among others, deep breathing, silencing yourself for a while (counting if necessary), or concentrating on something else, such as imagination or a pleasant memory. This exercise makes the problems seem somehow simpler and prevents us from making the situation worse by saying or doing the first thing that comes to mind. This is definitely a smarter option.
Learn to forgive
We will always run into people who do us harm. In some cases, they are toxic people, but in many other cases, they are just people who hurt us unintentionally. Whatever the reason, disappointment and pain are inevitable in our relationships with others.
If we are unable to forgive, those negative emotions accumulate to the point that it is impossible for us to be happy and happy. We cannot change the world to make it perfect, but we can change ourselves.
Forgiveness means accepting what has happened and letting go of it. It involves leaving things in the past and refusing to let them affect the present. While this is not easy to do, it is the most favorable for us as it allows us to move forward.
Identify different types of criticism
Not all criticism has been created equal. Someone might rightly criticize us because we have done something inappropriate and that person will only try their best to be honest and help us. This can be seen as a fair and constructive critique, as it is one means of getting in the direction of development and progress.
Destructive criticism, on the other hand, is offered in dismal faith. It is precisely meant to cause annoyance and resentment, and may be based on pure lies, or certain information about our personality that has then been exaggerated or distorted. This behavior is usually led to resentment, such as jealousy and bitterness .
What to do with an objective review?
When we receive constructive criticism, we need to look at it as a positive thing, even though we may not like to hear it. If we take a defensive stance by denying the situation or even attacking another person by offering further criticism of the situation, we will end up starting a dispute.
The solution is to be both bold and sensible. We must sincerely accept the review by identifying our own faults and proposing a solution : “Yes, it is quite true what you say, I fully understand. I hadn’t seen it from this angle before you said it. I will work from now on to change my attitude. ”
What to do with destructive criticism?
This is the most difficult to face. This type of criticism provokes controversy, and therefore if we respond to it, the situation may end up escalating into insults with which we may damage our public image and end up winning only unhappiness on our part.
In these cases, it is best to be patient and show indifference. Don’t get involved in the proposed game. Because that other person’s intent is to hurt us with their criticism, we win the game if we raise our shield so that it can’t affect us.
Most often, people with low self-esteem envy us because of what we are or what we have achieved. Criticism is their way of dispelling their envy and attempting to get a touch of self-esteem back by locating our own. If someone tries to criticize you in this way, then just think it is a sign that you are doing something well.
What if we provide reviews ourselves?
When we find ourselves being critics ourselves, it is the first step to reflect on our own behavior. Why are we doing this? Is it because our friends are criticizing and we are trying to be involved in the conversation? Is it because we are jealous? Or is it due to the shame brought about by our shortcomings and do we want to show through our actions that others are also at fault?
In any case, self-examination will help us change this. It is never too late to improve or change what we don’t like in ourselves. Demonstrating empathy and learning to put others in a position are undoubtedly exercises that make us feel better.
Staying away from criticism
Undoubtedly, criticism is so ingrained in our society that there would be a moderately blue-eyed hope of being able to escape it completely. But by making small changes in our own lives, we can still get rid of its negative effects.
Learn to accept constructive criticism and use it as a springboard for development and improvement. Coldly ignore unfair criticism and stay away from toxic people who support and promote it through their behavior. Avoid criticizing others in a negative tone as much as possible, and don’t take part in discussions where people criticize others. You are guaranteed to improve your peace of mind and as a result live a restful happy life .
Photos: Chichi Huang