When you face certain situations in your life, you need to ask yourself Do you really know how to distinguish between love and need. Is it love or need? Do you really know what love is and how it differs from need? In this article, we will tell you what the difference is between love and need.
Talking about “love” is very challenging because this word is used too much even in contexts that are actually far from it.
Since this is clearly much more than just a word, it may be a good idea to emphasize what love is not, rather than looking for a possible definition.
Love is NOT…
- The word “love” (if you define it, it’s not love).
- Ownership (what you own owns you, and love cannot be shackled or captured).
- Thinking (do not think you love, but to take the love of practice)
- Self-interest ( where there are ulterior motives there is no love; love is not a commodity, love just is ).
- Need (love does not exist to fill the voids of the ego).
- Temporary (it’s not in you, you’re in it, always in the present moment).
- Unit, but two free individuals.
- Making promises to each other, but that both are in control.
- No signature, but the fact that both grant their individual freedom in proportion.
- It does not require demonstrations, but rather communication.
- It is not “ falling in love ” that is just rapidly fading neurochemistry.
When it comes to love between partnerships and its many manifestations, falling in love is the most confusing, as this transient state involves changes in brain neurotransmitters ( dopamine and noradrenaline increase and serotonin decreases) with very similar effects to drug addiction. For this reason, you should let this phase of falling in love go by to make rational decisions.
According to psychologist John Bradshaw, a lasting relationship requires going through a phase of falling in love, or a phase of transition, and then reaching a phase of “partnership”.
There is one much-cited study of how memories change in relation to this theme. Holmberg and Holmes (1994) interviewed 400 married couples who assured that they were doing well and that they were in love.
Two years later, they were interviewed again. Couples who were divorced or who were in a worse mess now said the relationship went bad right from the start. This shows us how easily we can create memories that do not correspond to reality and serve as a basis for our decisions.
What a relationship should be
- Opportunity to express yourself in every way.
- Complete freedom (otherwise it is not a relationship).
- Playing without rules, because when it comes to love, there are no rules.
- Imagination, surprises and absolute support.
- Respect for yourself and your partner.
- Driving over the “pits” of life and checking another “tire” along the way.
- Not coercion, but liberation.
As the years go by, freedom seems to disappear and criticism, pride and ego grow. To all this can be added a technological problem that increases the superficiality of people.
Beauty operations are on the rise, and the obsession with gaining the approval of others as well as moral decay are on the rise. In addition to this, people increasingly want to present themselves physically on social media. Many now need treatment and therapy for this big problem.
The difference between love and need
Institutionalization is an obstacle to love
Love cannot be confined to temples, sects, religions, trends, rites, or philosophies. Do you really think you can classify freedom? For this reason, love has no shrines because it is found where it is not sought and it appears when you remove all obstacles in your way.
Just as you have to open the curtains to let light in, you also need to be aware of living in darkness in search of freedom and love.
Love is not the result of effort
Satakieli does not sing to be applauded – its ease gives beauty to its melodies. Sometimes love is seen as the result of hard work. But we’re talking here about removing obstacles in your way, rather than the effort you think you’ll have to see.
The same goes for hobbies and attitudes. We are not taught to love what we do, but rather to love results and seek acceptance. Instead, we should learn to seek the beauty of innate passions that arise from action without goals.
You should break and question every condition that hides and locks the ability to love within you. Do you do the things other people expect of you, or do you do the things you want to do yourself ?
Some people have such a strong obsession with identifying that they love a symbol more than a human being and prioritize some ideology to feel special.
Gaps and emptiness arise when a person is afraid to love. People choose these things because true love sweeps away everything we thought was safe.
Mixing love with need is very common. Many teenagers start a relationship because their friends already have partners and because they think it’s better to be in a relationship even with someone than to endure loneliness, fear, or struggle. This shows how need can make us mentally dependent on someone else.
Because love is freedom, addiction is an obstacle to love and must be learned to deal with. Freedom makes us strong, addiction distances us from love.
The ego makes love disappear
In short, love appears when the ego with its constant needs for attention goes out.
There are many trains going through your life, but not all of them will benefit you. Choose the best train for yourself and remember that you must first get out of where you are traveling and change the direction of your life.