Getting psychic support is a huge relief when we feel lonely or when we are overwhelmed by different emotions. It is like the cornerstone of comfort, security and peace. But what do we need to know when we want to give psychological support to another person? And when we want a friend’s shoulder against whom we could lean?
To give support to other people, we need to practice listening and empathy. And on the other hand, in order to get psychological support ourselves, we have to accept that we ourselves are not always able to digest all events. So every now and then we need help from other people.
The importance of active listening
The ability to listen actively is fundamental to creating an understanding space around us. Listening is not the same thing as hearing. When we listen, we perceive our whole body: our ears, our eyes and other ways of expressing, etc.
Our whole body invests in self-listening. Only in this way can the person talking to us really feel that we understand him.
A good way to show active listening is by summarizing and quoting what the speaker is saying. This way we can make sure we listen with full attention and don’t let others disturb us.
It’s really easy for us to start talking too early, and we don’t even notice this. Or we might as well give opinions before we’ve heard the whole story… or worse: we take our phone out of our pocket and start using it.
Knowing the connection with other people can also bring us the psychic support we need when we are crushed by our own feelings. We need our “people”.
We need to feel that we have someone who wants to hear about our pains and joys, that they are significant to someone else. Someone who understands that we are complex beings with complex thoughts. And so he accepts this task of trying to understand us (sometimes even without praise for this).
Empathy is something worth learning
Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in the shoes of others, as well as understanding their feelings based on certain situations. Then we can understand what is really happening to them, what they are feeling, what they are thinking and why they are behaving in a certain way.
Empathy is an ability that we can only develop if we really sacrifice our time to sit down with them, and maybe also by grabbing them by the hand. We can learn it if we just make the effort to join their company in the darkness, even if that darkness scares us.
Take, for example, a friend who explains how he has just divorced his partner. One of the most important ways to make sure this friend of ours knows we are encouraging is by reinforcing their feelings.
Saying that we understand how people feel in their situations. We focus on appreciating and understanding their feelings. You don’t have to say a flurry of words to give someone psychic support. In fact, it is not even necessary most of the time. A hug, a glance, or some gesture may be enough for a person to feel that you are supporting him.
Pretending that nothing would have even happened is an understatement of their pain and suffering, and it doesn’t help them at all. And exaggerating their suffering is exactly against its confirmation. Maybe we don’t have to react just like them, though, but that doesn’t make their suffering any less sincere or meaningful.
Receiving mental support relieves pain
Getting the help and support we need can help us through difficult times, and it gives us a lot of relief and peace. It is important for us to realize that we do not have to deal with everything alone, because difficult things will always happen. And when that happens, we may need support from someone we trust. Good ventilation does good every now and then.
Sharing our feelings with others can actually strengthen our immune system. On top of all that, it can put us in a position where we understand that we are not the only ones with problems.
We all experience difficult times in life. That is, it is better to feel that we have someone else with us than that we should handle events for ourselves. Think about how suffering itself brings with it introspection, and adds to it the feeling of being completely rejected.
To provide psychological support, we must learn to listen actively. Let them talk, and let’s practice empathy so they feel supported. And in order to get psychological support ourselves, we only need a small amount of humility.
We need to understand that we are not able to deal with everything that has happened to us alone. So let’s try to make it a habit to ask for help when we need it.