Moving forward without looking back is not always easy, especially when an emotional ballast slows it down. Sometimes you have to stop along the way in order to heal or maybe even rediscover yourself. Only when you have formulated a new and better version of yourself are you really ready to move on.
We can compare life to a woven fabric embroidered according to the beginnings and endings. They are two sides of the same coin, full of conflicting emotions that can be difficult to control. This is because it is difficult to see opportunities on the other side of your fears and anxieties.
Some experts, such as Denise Beike of the University of Arkansas, argue that things that happen to us are not as important as how we take a stand on them. That is why it is so important to have a clear and objective perspective on certain issues.
When something difficult is experienced in life, people say quite certainly that we need to move on. How can this be done when struggling with such great anxiety and pain? We know we need to move on and look to the future, but it really isn’t always easy to do.
The pain has deep roots. You can’t just pull them off and move elsewhere. Getting started is not easy. You need to be able to correct yourself, change, and create a new self that includes everything you have lived and learned. This process can take time. However, if you give yourself this time, you can start over, even better.
You can’t go ahead if you’re still carrying an emotional burden
You can do it. Direct your gaze to the horizon and move forward, step by step. You can even allow time to do all the emotional healing. Many people believe that the passage of time helps them forget their pain and memories. However, there will come a day when you will find that this strategy doesn’t really work.
Renowned Cognitive Psychotherapist Albert Ellis reminds us that we often allow certain beliefs to take over from ourselves, without considering other options. Ellis calls them “absurd ideas”. These are the thoughts that put us in unhealthy and problematic situations.
So anytime you face difficult moments or transitions in your life, you need to consider the following:
Going forward emotionally
Moving forward is not the same as moving forward. People often go to psychological therapy after a breakup or loss because they tried to move forward without giving time to grieve.
You should add this fundamental idea to your list: moving forward. It means the following:
- Going forward means not getting stuck in the same place.
- It requires the application of a new life strategy.
- Going forward requires starting from the inside without running away.
- It means meeting what you feel and accepting. You need to understand, improve, and give yourself a chance at a fresh start. This brings about emotional and mental development.
- It is also important to be aware that the pain and sorrow of loss will never go away. No one can remove these feelings. You have to make room for them inside you and learn to live with them.
Transitions take time
Mark A. Thornton’s research from Cornell University shows that all change brings a range of emotions. In order to deal with change effectively, you need to know how to deal with these emotions. If you do not do so and try to rush the process, there is a risk of developing a psychological disorder such as depression.
You need to be able to channel anger and frustration. You also need to know how to differentiate your disappointments and learn from them.
Start starting stronger
People don’t change, they go forward. We create ourselves as often as we need to. We don’t do it out of whim or to get pleasure. Change happens when we face adversity, become stronger, and on the other hand become better prepared.
You know that moving forward is the only option you have in life. The opposite is to become paralyzed and stay put. However, you have the option to do it the way you want. Try not to run away from yourself and your feelings. Open the door to the dark and messy room that is the deepest part of you. Give it love, organize it and ventilate it.
Let yourself start over. Step on the path again as a stronger and more hopeful person. As Charlotte Brontë once said, “Why linger unnecessarily in the past when the present is so much more secure and the future so much brighter?”