Together But Not Bound: Legend Of The Sioux Couples

Together but not bound: the legend of the Siouxi on relationships

According to the beautiful and old Sioux legend, the parties to a relationship should fly together, but not tied to each other, and never be slaves to each other for the relationship to last and be happy. For true love should not be shackled. True love connects two individuals into a single project without the partnerships having to abandon their own self, their own identity.

It is interesting that the wisdom of the indigenous peoples of America still lives on today, inspiring people with their stories and legends. Sometimes these stories are magical, but they are always valuable revivals for us as well. Somehow, these stories are still useful and significant to us. In all this wisdom, the Sioux people have helped us the most.

They have to be thanked for the legend of the dream catcher and also for a precious fairy tale whose simple but profound teaching tells us how to build stable and happy relationships. Fortunately, we have access to this fascinating book, “American Indian Stories,” written by Zitkala-Shan.

This interesting writer was the first Sioux Indian to receive a Western education. He was a defender of the traditions of his people, a violinist and, above all, an activist. He was the one who at the beginning of the 20th century played a part of his cultural heritage, offering us simple but wonderful texts, which included e.g. this delightful legend that we are going to explore next.


Love, individual and relationship according to Sioux Indians

An old legend tells of a Sioux couple who one morning decided to go visit a village shaman. They lived near Evil Sapa, now known as the Black Hills, a sacred place for the Sioux Indian tribe. The young man of the couple was a brave warrior with honor and nobility in his heart. Touch the Clouds was a woman with almond-shaped eyes, thick hair and determination in her heart. But most of all, there was a deep love in her heart for the man who was to become her husband.

The reason for meeting the shaman was very important: they scared them. They feared that their promise of dedicated love that they promised each other would be shattered. They were also afraid of death and not meeting each other in the afterlife. They wanted the old Popper to give them some cure, spell, or magic that would make their love eternal.


The old shaman looked at the couple for a moment. He burned a few barrels, frowned, clarified his throat, and then took the girl’s hand into his own:

– If you want to keep your loved one by your side for a long time, you have to make a small trip. I warn you it will not be easy. You must climb that hill over there and hunt with your own hands the hawk, which is the most powerful and beautiful. Then you have to bring it here alive on the third day after the full moon.

Next, the shaman turned to the young warrior.

For you, you should know that your task will be just as difficult and sacrificial. You have to climb the highest mountain in our neighborhood and hunt an eagle. The most beautiful, strongest and wildest. Then you have to bring it here on the same day as your loved one.



The young Sioux girl and her beloved performed the challenge the shaman posed for them. The girl brought a hawk in a leather bag and the young warrior carried an eagle. The most beautiful and strongest. At the shaman, they both asked what the next step would be. “Maybe sacrifice the birds and wash each other with their blood?” they asked.

– I’ll tell you what you do next. Take the birds and tie their legs with a leather cord so that they are tied together. Then let them go so they can fly free.

After the couple had completed the shaman’s request, they were amazed and speechless to see what was happening. As the birds tried to take off, they just fell down over and over again. Frustrated and full of anger, the birds began to peck at each other.

The old shaman released the birds from the shackles. This is the spell I will give you: learn from what you have just seen. If you bind yourself together, even with love, the only thing you will achieve is that you pull each other down, hurt each other, and you are unhappy. If you want your love to last, fly as high as you can together, but not bound. For true love does not shackle.

Mentally ecological couple: together, but not tied

Jaume Soler and Mercè Conanglan title  of “Together but not Tethered” ( “one but not bound ) is another one interesting book, which focuses accurately old Sioux legend of main idea. These writers put forward the idea that we should build the so-called right kind of “psychological ecology”.

In the complex challenge of building a stable, happy, mature, and rewarding partnership, we need to strike a balance between our strengths and our own space to create an environment where we can “be faithful to ourselves and yet faithful to our relationship as well”. And we should never lose our own identity, our love for ourselves, our self-esteem, and our secret dreams.

genuine love according to Sioux legend

Finally, we should also remember that we can apply the legend and the “together but not bound” principle to all human relationships, be it friendship or even a child-parent relationship. Because in the end, we have to protect our own personal space to maintain the magic of the bond.

This is something to consider.

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