When it comes to the boundaries of human relationships, be it family life, social or romantic relationships, some of the boundaries fall into all areas. However, some of the boundaries are personal based on the people around us and what we are willing to tolerate.
In romantic relationships, boundaries can vary a lot depending on the person. Some people can tolerate and even forgive infidelity, while others can’t even imagine a person they love to do so. A person’s upbringing, personal experiences, values, and self-esteem play a big part in this.
However, while everyone has personal boundaries and they vary widely, there are certain behaviors that you should never tolerate if you want to protect your self-esteem and dignity.
Boundaries and mental dependence
Almost everyone knows what they don’t want in their relationships. However, when another person crosses the border, those same people often stay in a relationship and feel unable to end it. This will make it harder for you to leave.
They see their partner as a necessity, just like food or sleep, and therefore it is impossible for them to let go. The fear of losing love can be so great that some people prefer to tolerate behaviors like lying, exploitation, and oppression to maintain a relationship.
Seeing a partner as a necessity is the result of mental dependence. It happens when you are unable to create your own criteria and constraints.
Addicted people often express their thinking in the following ways: “I’m sure things will change , ” “It’s not such a bad thing, maybe I just exaggerated,” “He does it just because he’s stressed, it doesn’t last forever,” etc. They justify their partner’s behavior, even if it harms them. They need to constantly convince themselves. Deep down, though, they know assurances are just excuses to make them feel better, forgive their partner, and continue in a relationship at least momentarily.
Boundaries and self-esteem
Healthy self-esteem, or unconditional self-acceptance, is a pillar of mental health and mental well-being. Low self-esteem or lack of self-determination are the starting point for many psychological problems.
Low self-esteem has a lot to do with boundaries in all aspects of life, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. If you value another person more than yourself, or if you think you simply can’t be alone and that you need another person to make yourself happy and give meaning to your life , you’re throwing powerful bombs at your self-esteem. Bombs that can explode at any time.
This can be dangerous because if you slip on things, you may lower yourself to the point where it is extremely difficult to continue the relationship or being with your partner makes you extremely sad.