When We Carry Resentment, A Small Part Of Us Dies

When we carry resentment, a small portion of us die

The daughter arrives home and says to her father:

– Dad, I can’t stand our neighbor anymore! I want to kill him, but I’m afraid someone will find out. Can you help me?

The father is responsible for:

– Of course my dear, but only on one condition: you must make peace with him so that no one can doubt you when he dies. You need to be very considerate, kind, grateful, patient, warm-hearted and selfless. You should always give something back and listen to him more. Look at this powder. Put this a little on his food every day, and little by little he will die.

After 30 days, the daughter says to her father:

– I don’t want him to die. I love him. What do I do now, how can I stop the effects of the poison?

The father is responsible for:

– Do not worry! The powder I gave you was rice flour. He will not die because the poison was inside you all the time.

Hands and sun

When someone hurts us, it’s a bit of the same thing as a snake biting us. But no matter if the wound is small or large, it is always possible to suture it closed.

As Therapist José Antonio García says, the most common poisons are revenge, eye for an eye, and seeking justice at any cost. These poisons can affect us inside for years, eating us from within and thus we lose our happiness and hope.

Carrying resentment is human. But so is forgiveness. And making mistakes. It is said that he who does not love will not forgive. Love is responsible for forgiveness. Love for other people, life, the world and ourselves.

True forgiveness will not happen if there is no love behind it. The main reason for forgiveness may be kindness or responsibility, but whatever it is, the only way to truly succeed is to do it through love.

In many ways, forgiveness can be seen as synonymous with freedom. If resentment, fear, and anger do not hold us back, nothing can keep us locked up in the prison of resentment.

When we are able to talk about the pains of our past without grief and crying, we have managed to heal our spiritual wounds. But forgiveness does not mean that we should erase our past or forget the pains found there. Forgiveness creates a new way of remembering and looking at the present and the future.

Heart curve

Forgiveness is essential to spiritual freedom

Forgiveness is necessary to achieve mental freedom and therefore also mental well-being. It may require a lot, but it is the only way to improve ourselves. Here are some tips to help you forgive:

1. Recognize your pain.

This is the only way you can gain mental distance and re-build empathy for the person who hurt you. When you acknowledge your pain, you will be able to analyze the reasons that might have made that person act this way. Understanding this, in turn, will help reduce the amount of prosecution.

2. Select forgiveness.

For this, we use the hook hook metaphor as an example.

When someone hurts us, it kind of feels like he’s hit our guts with a hook and this causes a lot of pain. We want him to get what he deserves, we want him to feel the same way we do. We want to hurt him with the same hook, because we think it’s an act of justice that makes him suffer the same way we suffer now.

If we try to hurt him with a hook, we will still be hanging on the same hook anyway. If we manage to get him hooked, he is now between ourselves and the head of the hook, which means we have to get him out before we get out of ourselves.

If we detach ourselves from the hook, we should be careful not to get too close to this person, as he would try to get us hooked again. But when we get close to him again, we have to trust that he no longer wants to hurt us. However, this act does not stem from a reduction in suffering but from a decision that you want this in the longer term.

The girl hugs a tree

3. Accept suffering and anger.

It is normal to feel angry and hurt, but the only way to end suffering is to bring our conflicting feelings and thoughts together.

4. Protect yourself.

When we analyze what has happened and forgive, we still need to pay attention to the signs of danger. We need to be in our fields so that we can protect ourselves from the harms of the future.

5. It is not enough for you to say “I am sorry”.

Each sentence can be completely empty on purpose. A lot of this happens: we imagine we’ve forgiven, but resentment still grows within us.

Forgiveness is not said, it is known. If negative thoughts and feelings repeat themselves, we should go through the whole process again. We must repeat this until we get rid of the pain that is eating us from within.

We should carry memories on our journey, but not our pains. Life will be so much easier when we live this way.

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