In close relationships, jealousy can lead to a partner trying to control and direct what the other is doing. Often, controlling another is perceived as protection, although this is not the case.
“If he controls me, it’s just because he cares,” “If he’s jealous, it’s because he loves,” “if he gets angry, he has good reasons for it”. Don’t explain what the other is doing and come up with excuses for them and their behavior. Jealousy is not love, and control is not protection.
If a partner feels the need to control another, the situation quickly becomes difficult. Maybe your partner wants to know where you are at every moment of the day; if he could, he would stay in you all the time. If you experience similar controlling behaviors, it is important to set personal boundaries. Think of your freedom as something much more valuable than a relationship that tries to deprive you of it.
I want to be free and limitless
Controlling another is a way of expressing uncertainty in oneself. We cannot control what our partner does, because each of us is a free being. People who try to control us are trying to justify depriving their partner of freedom.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to cut off your own wings. We must continue to chase our own dreams. If we want to travel to other countries, we have to do so! Don’t stop living your life just because you’re in a relationship. Don’t let your partner cut your wings, because if that happens, you’re not going to be happy.
Love can make us happy and contented, but there is also a dark side to love that seeks to deprive you of freedom and control you. How can you be happy if you are not free? Sometimes you might imagine you’re completely wrong about another, thinking you’re imagining the whole thing in your head that you’re developing a storm in a glass of water. Be careful, because often this is an idea implanted in you by a controlling person that is meant to make you doubt yourself. Open your eyes to the truth!
You cannot afford to lose your freedom. What happens to your dreams of life? Be free and don’t let anyone control you. Control is not love. Love is something where your own freedom and happiness comes first.
Getting out of a situation can be difficult
Dominant behavior may not be recognized immediately, especially when we are blinded by our own feelings. It is therefore important to learn to identify controlling behaviors in a timely manner, and this is true for both the partner and other loved ones we are constantly dealing with. Sometimes friends or family can try to control others. Dominant behavior in a relationship is common and often more pronounced.
The controlling spouse wants too much too quickly. He wants to spend as much time as possible with you. This may seem sweet at first when the other misses so much that it can’t stand to be separated, but eventually this kind of behavior becomes distressing.
When a dominant partner steps into the patterns, everything is gorgeous and beautiful, he doesn’t want to miss a moment. He pays all his attention to you and observes what you do, and it feels like they have all the rights in your life.
The partner may appear seductive, but there are other motives behind it. The partner wants you to be happy, and this prevents you from leaving him. This creates a desire for ownership.
Your partner will make you feel unique. He tells you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to him, you are unique and priceless. In this way, the person in control allows themselves the freedom to decide that your life is in their possession.
Often you may not be able to identify what is happening. Everything happens in deep silence and unnoticed. Think carefully about what kind of person you are, and don’t let another control you or merge you into yourself. You may feel safe and unique in his presence, but a word of warning: in the long run, this may be a sign of a controlling person not making you happy.
Protect your freedom, protect your wings. No one has the right to cut them, no one has the right to control your life. Your life is just yours, and you have to be the person who controls it. Live your life to the fullest, fulfill your dreams, chase your passion targets and remove obstacles that hit your path. Don’t let anyone guide you, don’t submit to jealous behavior, or trust that another’s dominant behavior means mere love.