As parents, many of us have this ingrained idea that our children belong to us, as if they were our property. And besides, we overprotect them to the point that we prevent them from being themselves.
Avoiding overprotection can help our children open up to life and life. This is how they come to know innately how to solve their own problems and when they make mistakes, they learn from them.
We parents usually have some kind of inner instinct that wants to prevent our children from following a path that we don’t think is right for them. We strive to make it as easy and ready as possible for them to make as few mistakes as possible.
But mistakes are a part of their lives and experiences and they will transform and shape them into independent and sovereign beings. Slowing down this process slows down the course of their entire lives.
Message from Khalil Gibran
The Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran tells in his book The Prophet the following excerpt from a woman asking a prophet to speak about children:
We are the children of life
Many of us want our children to have everything we didn’t have, and we don’t want them to make the same eternal mistakes of age that we ourselves made.
This is done as a means of protection, thinking and believing that it is the best that can be done for the defenseless beings who are our children. However, we do not then realize that they have the right to take control of their own lives.
They have the right to make decisions, forcing them to go through awkward situations through which they see and learn the consequences of each act. Parental support is important as long as it is not too prescriptive or restrictive of their children’s activities.
We don’t belong to anyone and no one can experience anything for us. We are the children of our own lives, to which we then submit ourselves, winged by all its benefits and difficulties, in order to form our own identity.
We as parents enable the freedom of our children
Unknowingly, we teach many of our own behaviors, fears, and thoughts to our children. The way we love, identify with the world, and communicate are all parts of life that are too important for us to ignore.
It is essential to be aware of the messages we send to them, as many of these messages are created unconsciously. This needs to be done in a way that allows them to define their own behavior, attitude and, more generally, the way they live their own lives.
As parents, we are only tools for our children, tools to grow and develop into free, healthy, and happy individuals. We can support them through this process without our intention to meet their dreams and expectations.
By allowing them to explore their own basic essence and choose their own path, we can show that we truly love them unconditionally. All this without pressure or demands that restrict their freedom and the expression of their needs.
Thus, we have the opportunity to observe the flow of life, where every being, because of the fact that they are loved, is able to provide the best version of itself. Respecting their own vital process, without fear of gaining new experiences and surrendering to love.